My Love
by MissRoy
Summary: Voldemort reminiscing about the only person he had ever loved. Oneshot.


I knew the moment I saw her on my first day at Hogwarts. She walked into Professor Slughorn's classroom 5 minutes late and coolly slid into an empty seat. When the Professor had questioned her as to why she was late, she didn't flinch or seem upset when he took 5 points away. She had a certain grace about her, and she was damn good at everything she tried.

All that year I had silently longed for her, even though she was in Gryffindor. I hated how all of the boys, (especially the older ones), made catcalls at her when she walked into the great hall for meals.

She was pretty; there was no doubting that. She had long, curly blonde hair and deep blue eyes. She was almost fully developed and she had the most attractive, curvy figure I had ever seen.

I knew she would never be interested in me, so I kept my distance. For the next 3 years I pined for her from afar, never daring to get too close to her for fear that my friends would shun me for loving someone like her.

It was in my 4th year that I finally got closer to her. I had been walking back to my dormitory after dinner and found her in one of my shortcuts, crying her eyes out. Without thinking I stopped and asked her what was wrong, and if there was anything I could do to help.

She told me about how her parents were splitting up, and how her brother had died in a freak potions accident. She told me how horrible she felt when boys would try to get close to her just to attempt to get her in bed. She told me how it felt to be harassed by my friends for being a half-blood.

I was never happier than when she wiped her tears, stood up, and gave me a quick hug. She thanked me for listening to her problems.

Since that point onward we became friends. We would study together in the library, work together in class, and sometimes even eat together outside during lunch. But I wanted more. I wanted to comfort her forever, to be there whenever she cried. I thought she would never return my feelings but I decided that being her friend would be better than not knowing her at all.

She became my light, my reason to live. I wouldn't have survived my summers in the orphanage if she hadn't written to me once or twice a week, filling me in on her summer. It was when I opened the chamber of secrets in my 6th year that she began to lock me out of her life. She suspected I knew who was behind all of the attacks.

After a few attacks, her parents sent for her to be removed from Hogwarts. I remember how our good-bye was tearful, despite her shunning of me earlier. I remember vividly how when she pulled away from hugging me, we looked straight into each other's eyes and shared our first and only kiss. I never thought I'd see her again.

After she left I had no one to stop me from becoming the most evil and powerful wizard that ever lived. I tortured muggles and muggleborns. I slowly rose to power.

Every time I killed someone or watched someone being killed, I thought about her. I thought about her eyes filling with tears when she told me about how my friends had teased her about being a half-blood. I thought about how horrible I would feel if something happened to her. I never thought anything would.

When the Order of the Phoenix was formed, I became enraged. How dare they try to stop me? I was more powerful than any of them. Albus Dumbledore was behind it all, I knew it. I set out to kill them all.

I started with the lesser members. I killed them off one by one until I ran out of them. I started killing the members with more responsibility. I had my death eaters kill them whenever they had a chance, and I even killed a few myself. I never would have thought that she'd join them. I thought she might still love me, or at least, feel sorry for me.

It was a dark, stormy night when some of my most trusted death eaters rushed to my side to tell me of a great gathering of Order members. I quickly sent out the signal and my death eaters and I headed for the place of their meeting. Someone must have warned them that we were coming, because they were ready. They formed ranks opposite of us, trying to stare us down. I didn't spot her standing in the back of the group.

As all hell broke loose, I still didn't notice her battling with the Order. I shot curses in every direction, some hitting their side, some hitting mine. Eventually they lost enough of their numbers to flee in fear of their lives. I laughed at them.

My death eaters began to walk around and bring the bodies to a pile where I could examine the victims. I stood as they lifted them up one by one. None of them were very significant. I began to walk around under the darkness of the night. I walked in a circle around the battle for a very long time. And then, I saw a body lying near the edge of the battlefield.

I walked over to it, never expecting it to be someone I had actually loved. Never. But it was her. I could tell at once. She remained unchanged since I had last seen her, although she did appear to have some frown lines across her forehead. Her deep blue eyes remained open, as though in shock.

I slowly dropped to the ground next to her. I gathered her body up in my arms and I wept. I had never regretted the killings more than that moment. I closed her eyes and smoothed her face. I could see my death eaters setting fire to the other bodies, but I could not let them do it to her.

Memories flooded back to me like waves. The first time I saw her, the first time she hugged me, and the time we had kissed. I laid her gently onto the ground and folded her arms across her chest. She almost appeared to be sleeping.

After seeing that she was clutching her wand, I gently pried her hand open. I held her wand in my hand and after I had buried her in the ground, I pondered about a very serious topic. It had never been done before, but I was willing to try. That night, my love's wand became the last horcrux I ever made.


End file.
